he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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