the condom got lost in my hair
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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