they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she looked like the before picture.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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