remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
