I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize