so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
