i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
