ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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