yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
