he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
