I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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