there's paper in my vomit.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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