YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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