do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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