Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize