i don't like sucking hair
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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