Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
