I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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