you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize