Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There r osticjed everywhere
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
