I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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