There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
