I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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