The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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