I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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