I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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