Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
