Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize