well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
