Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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