I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
