i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
