I'm gonna have a badass scar
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
