just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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