I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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