ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
