Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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