We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
