I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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