Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
