Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
