Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In other news, I just burned my penis
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
