What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
