Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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