Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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