Will you blow on my dice?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
