I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
