Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
