At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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