I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
