One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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