Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize