You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dignity is for republicans.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
