i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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