the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
