I faked an abortion last night.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
