Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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