I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
