I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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