This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I can't turn off my feet"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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