why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
