she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if only i could text you this smell
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
