yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
